Category: Condom

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As you can see from the big-@$$ advertisement that sits above this sentence, my NEW album, “The Obama Milli Remix Guy Strikes Back,” is coming out on June 8th.

Ideally, I would LIKE for the album to show up at iTunes, Rhapsody, Amazon, and other retail outlets on the same day.  However, it’s very well possible that the album could end up at those stores either BEFORE that date, or afterward.

The service that I use to get my songs to iTunes – Tunecore – gives a list of what online retailers they send your music to, as well as how long it takes for each site to actually have your songs LIVE in their system.  The amount of time it takes for each store to post up your song can vary from “a very, very short amount of time” to “dang near forever” before your songs go up.

Amazingly, this can actually be true of the SAME retail store.  For example: I’ve sent songs/albums to iTunes where it took the song dang near 3 to 4 weeks to post up, while at other times it only took a matter of 3 to 4 DAYS.

This is the only part of using an online service that is frustrating.  It would be ideal for me to be able to have an album done, send it to Tunecore and say “Hey, make sure this album posts up on June 8th.”  However, I’m sure they have to go through all the songs and listen for various items (explicit content, type of music, any obvious samples) as do the various online stores before they can post it up.

With that said, the album will still be coming out on June 8th.  I have other stores and online sites I can use to GUARANTEE that my album gets posted on that date, and I can post those links at this site.  Hopefully, though, those online stores will be swift enough with my music to post it up by the release date, if not sooner. 🙂


…especially when you’re trying to conserve your funds for a big move like I am!

I was really, REALLY not planning on spending money this year on anybody for Christmas.  Not because I don’t love them or anything – it’s just:

  • Christmas feels more and more commercialised to me every year, to the point where finding the gift is more important than the meaning behind it; and
  • Moving to California means having to conserve as much money as I can

Right now – as in, at this very moment – I have just enough for a deposit on my new place, plus two months rent.  The last thing I want to do, then, is spend money I may need to survive while getting settled in California, especially since its such an expensive place to live (or so I’ve been told).

However, everyone kept asking me what I wanted for Christmas.  You would think this is a good thing, right? WRONG! 

I have found that the only reason people ask you what you want for Christmas… is so that you will then turn around and ask them what THEY want for Christmas.  It would be nice if I could say to someone, “Hey, I love you, but I can’t afford to get you a gift right now ’cause I’m about to move,” and they could turn to you and say, “That’s okay – I’ll still get you something, and won’t expect anything in return.”

But, of course, this isn’t the way things work.  The way things work is, if someone is going out of their way to get me something, it’s an unwritten rule that I must get them something as well.

This year, I kept the gift-buying to immediate family – mom, brother, brother’s fiance – and it STILL cost me a good bit of money.  How much? Eh, not important – just know, it was more than I had planned to spend, especially since, again, I’m MOVING in two weeks!

I don’t feel too bad about it, though.  Both my Mom and my bro helped me out financially when I moved here to D.C., with way more money than I spent on their gifts.  So, even though I’m not paying them back those monies (since they did it out of the goodness of their heart), I figure, at the very least, I can buy them gifts costing a fraction of what they gave me.  Plus, they’ve both always encouraged me to follow my dreams and make it, which I am doing, and their support means all the world to me.

But for everybody else – they ain’t gettin’ nothing! Hopefully, though, they’re not getting me anything either…

…but if they are, I could certainly use some Cinnabon coupons, and a copy of the “Sex and the City” movie on DVD 🙂





Ladies and Gentleman… I present to you…


“THE A.P.T. LP!”

This project has been quite a learning experience, and a true labor of love for me!  I just spent 32 hours up straight putting this album together, and a lot of hard work went into making these songs!

Here are all the important links you need to know:

*** To purchase the MP3 Version of “The A.P.T. LP” (5.99): Click HERE!

You will be greeted at my Payloadz site by three men dressed as hunchbacks named Sam.  Okay, not really – but you will be able to pay and immediately get the download file for the album!

*** To purchase the CD version of “The A.P.T. LP” (7.99): Click HERE!

CDs will be shipped out every Tuesday and Friday (I don’t have a car yet, so I have to schedules these types of trips to certain days.)  It will arrive in your mailbox in an envelope, which will contain a CD inside a packaging sleeve for added protection.  The CD will have a cover with a list of the songs on the album.

Oh, yeah – here is a list of all the tracks on “The A.P.T. LP”:

  1. Intro – “And the Award Goes to..”
  2. A.P.T. (What’s My Name?)
  3. Hooptie (Guest Appearance by S. Stephens)
  4. What We Do
  5. Tha Hood vs. The ‘Burbs
  6. Smooth Talker
  7. It’s Over
  8. Stop Cockblockin’ (feat. Ms. Theory)
  9. The N-word Song (a.k.a. The KKK-ramer Song)
  10. Fly Chick
  11. Blow It All
  12. Skit – An Interview w/DMX (feat. Mr. Smallwood)
  13. Bust My G.A.T.
  14. Retirement Home
  15. A Commentary on Each Album Track
  16. BONUS TRACK: F–k New Orleans (feat. G.W. Bush)

I’m still working on getting each of the songs posted as an individual purchase – for right now, though, GET THE ALBUM!! It’s hot!

More from me later as other things develop!

This week’s song/video is called “Erectile Dysfunction” (A Parody of Snoop Dogg’s “Sensual Seduction”) – Appeared on “The O-bama Mixtape!”

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Last December, Snoop Dogg released his song, “Sensual Seduction,” and after one listen, I KNEW this song would be ripe for a parody!  After taking two days to figure out what I could use as subject matter that would sound close to the phonetics of the original song, I suddenly thought of “Erectile Dysfunction” and burst out laughing!

Clearly, this was a good idea to run with.

I recorded it and wanted to get the song out there, but I had two problems: one, I didn’t have time to put a REAL video together because it was around Christmas and staying with family; and two, I wasn’t too familiar with any free MP3 download sites.  So, I found a bunch of pictures online, pasted them and put them together on, loaded up the music and made a crappy-ass video for the song, figuring it wouldn’t get much play, but I could at least send it out to my friends via youtube.

Imagine my surprise when, one day after putting it on youtube, it had 120 views – and I hadn’t even told anyone about the song yet!

5 months later, the song just passed the 10,000 view mark.  My brother’s girlfriend’s brother, who goes to VCU, said it was the #1 downloaded song at his school – odd, given that I didn’t give a link address for the download of the song until last month.  Guess someone must have recorded it and sent it around – and I couldn’t be happier about it!

So, enjoy the song! Come back next week for another song, courtesy of me!


*UPDATE: After the project ended, I started working on another website featuring a character named Non Juan, a puppet who is terrible at getting ladies to date him.  One of the music videos we shot for him was a remake of “Erectile Dysfunction” recorded in his voice.  This is the video that now takes the place of the original video which, as you may recall, was very, very crappy.  Enjoy!” – A.P.T., May 18, 2010.*