This week’s song/music video is for “It’s Over,” written and produced by me!

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Aside from doing music, I am also a big studier of human relationships. Specifically, why and how people meet and fall in and/or out of love.

This studying stems from my own attempts at relationships throughout my high school and college years, where I was constantly trying to figure out how seemingly every guy out there BUT me was able to get girls to like them. I’d have a few girls here and there show interest in me, but then, unbeknown to me, they’d no longer be interested in pursuing a relationship.

Of course, they wouldn’t come out and SAY they weren’t interested. Instead, they would not show up for dates, not return my phone calls, or pass by me without saying a word. I didn’t understand why this was happening, so I decided to find out. I looked up men’s dating advice tips in books and online, and eventually discovered what I was doing wrong: I was being needy, pestering, and trying to give too much of myself too soon.

One of the advantages of knowing all this stuff is that I can now tell when a relationship is either going great, is starting to end, or never was there to begin with. Personally, I’d rather cut my losses early instead of having false hope about it working out with a girl and still trying to pursue it when her interest is no longer there.

It is in this spirit that I wrote this week’s song, “It’s Over.” The song actually stemmed from a conversation I had with a friend of mine a few months back. We were talking about some of the people we went to college with, and… well, I don’t want to give too much of the conversation away, but I will say this: some of the girls we went to school with made TERRIBLE decisions about the guys they decided to pursue. Amazingly, despite the emotional crap these girls allowed these guys put them through, many of them are STILL chasing after them!

The reason? They’re stupid. Oh, and they also aren’t able to tell themselves that the relationship they want just isn’t happening. But mostly, they’re stupid.

After the conversation, though, I realized that I, too, use to be one of those “stupid” people who wouldn’t face the reality that a girl just wasn’t interested in me. So, for the benefit of others who are as stupid as I used to be, I made this song!

The song is divided into two parts. The first verse is a shout-out to all the guys who can’t realize when the girl they’re dating no longer wants to see them. I give the guys examples of the girl’s disinterest, such as cancelling dates, not calling them, hanging out more with her friends, and so on. The second verse is a shout-out to all the girls who also can’t realize when a guy no longer wants them. Examples include: him hitting on other girls; only calling her for sex; and other surprises that you’ll have to hear.

As with many of my songs, the examples are based on real life; The “guy” I’m talking to in the first verse is the stupid version of myself, while the second verse is based on info I heard about a former schoolmate of mine that I wish I could talk to about her situation. All in all, both these experiences made for good song material!

Some Interesting Song Tidbits:

(1) Um… I think I gave most of them away in the previous paragraph! Oh wait, here’s one: I’ve gone through most of the situations talked about in the “guy” verse. Minus the crying on the bathroom floor – I’d cry in a much better place than THAT!

(2) I made the beat to this song! In the chorus, you’ll notice the high-rising notes that sound similar to the one used in the movie “2001: A Space Odyssey.” The sound is supposed to be the “awakening of knowledge” sound, as in, the person hearing this song is, hopefully, having their eyes opened to the fact that the person they’re after does NOT want them!


You’d be amazed at how many different video ideas I have for just ONE song.

My original idea for the video was to be walking down the street singing the song as though I’m talking to someone. I even filmed that version while walking to the barber one day. But, I decided to use that idea for another song instead.

My second idea was to film both scenarios being played out by different people.  In other words, I’d film the first part using myself, and play out the different things I talk about in the song’s first vers;, I’d film the second part using a girl acting out the scenarios in the second verse.  Unfortunately, I have often found it difficult to schedule other people for film times, especially since I think of most video ideas at the spur of the moment.  I’m getting better at planning ahead, so hopefully I’ll have other people starring in my videos soon!

But, this past week, I was inspired to do a third video idea. This time, I’m a pod caster who gives out relationship advice on his own station, WAPT (catchy name, ain’t it?)

Then, I was going to shoot the video in the empty apartment above mine, to give viewers a different atmosphere than just my apartment, which I use quite often.

However, I woke up at 3 in the morning a few days ago, and thought: “Wouldn’t it be funny if I just filmed the whole thing in my bathroom, with the excuse being that I get better sound pod casting in there than I do in my regular apartment space??” So, that’s what I did – I rolled out of bed a few minutes later and filmed the whole thing in 2 hours, then went back to sleep for 4 more hours!

Some Interesting Video Tidbits:

(1) Since I’m a relationship advice radio guy in the video, I thought it would be cool to have people call me up asking for advice. This turned out to be the most nerve-racking part of the shoot, as it forces me to rely on outside help for the video.

You’d be surprised at how many people I have to ask to do something as simple as an online video. Some of them are camera-shy, and don’t want their image to be broadcast to the world. Still, others are worried about how their voice might sound, and won’t do something as simple as call my phone to leave a message!! Like, who’s going to see my video and say, “Gee, that sounds like Becky – man, does she sound stupid!!”

With that said, I was able to get my oh-so-helpful brother to be the guy caller. Even then, I like to do things on my time, and I actually shot the video before he called me; I had to cut-and-paste his voice in during post-production. Meanwhile, I couldn’t find a girl to call my phone, so I just used my own voice. In retrospect, I could have asked one of my friends in DC to help, but I want to spread out how much I use them, especially since one of them did vocals for two of my upcoming songs…

(2) My bathroom is SMALL. I live in a studio, and as such I had to record the scenes with me in a “closed” bathroom with my door open. Luckily, I was able to angle it so it looks like I’m still in an enclosed space!

(3) In the video, there are various cuts and splices, as there are with most videos. However, the parts in the video where there are long stretches of the same shot are what I call the “emphasis” points. For most of the chorus I don’t cut to other shots because I’m trying to emphasize to the person being focused on in the verse before that their relationship is OVER.

(4) Estimated edit time: I have no idea. I started yesterday afternoon and worked on it for about 2 hours before I went out to eat, then came back home and edited while watching TV, then edited this morning while watching church on TV. I’d say somewhere around 7 or 8 hours sounds right, but I have no idea!!

(5) Lastly, this whole scenario in the video – me being a radio guy – is partially a shout-out to the radio stations that have been playing my “Obama, Obama” song.  In the last week I’ve gotten messages from a LOT of people in different states saying they either heard the song, or – in the case of the radio DJs themselves – had played the song.  So, THANK YOU RADIO DJS, YOUR SUPPORT IS GREATLY APPRECIATED!!

That’s all for now – enjoy the video, and I’ll see you next week!