Just saw the movie.  Powerful, man, powerful.  Great acting, great vibe… great pair of knockers courtesy of the chick who played Lil’ Kim… it was ALL good!

Except… well…

This movie made me think about the price of fame.  For all of Biggie’s success, the drama he went through leading up to (and causing) his death didn’t seem enjoyable.  In fact, it seemed downright depressing.

But I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately.  I started this site to get my music out there, and I thought I wanted to perform in front of others, meet other music stars…

Now that I live in California, though, all that stuff seems (a) fake, and (b) like it’s not all that fun. 

Truly, it is a JOB, people.  And being a performer in the music biz is one of the hardest jobs to have – you work long hours for little pay (in relation to how much the record company makes); you have to be “on” for the public at all times; and the pay-off from it can take YEARS.

Furthermore, the field of competition is RIDICULOUSLY over-populated.  Just looking in the paper, there were hundreds of acts performing this weekend that I’ve NEVER heard of, in every genre.  And that’s just in L.A.!  I think back to being in Atlanta and D.C., and all the performers those cities had that I’d never heard of. 

Not to mention the amount of pressure and fakeness one has to deal with if they DO get on.  I made one song that blew up (out of hundreds I’ve either written or recorded) and, while it didn’t make me completely famous, I was already feeling pressure from people wanting me to do certain types of songs, or to “not sell out” (whatever that means); not to mention the number of people I used to know who had fallen out of contact with me (even when I tried keeping in contact with them) that suddenly wanted to say “hi” just to “see how I was doing” and “congratulate me on my success.” 

That may not seem like it’s dis-genuine – “they really might just be trying to see how you’re doing” – but really, why now?  I have friends that have been doing that for years, WAY before I even imagined having a song on radio.

So, given all the stuff I just typed, does this mean I’m giving up doing music?  That I’m saying “screw it” to anymore songs or videos?


What it DOES mean, though, is that I find it easier to feel no pressure and be less likely to deal with fake people, or drama, or any of that other stuff, by keeping it on the low.  I like making music for fun and/or my own amusement, and if other people happen to like it, great!

However, I don’t feel the need anymore to make this my full-time career.  Part of it may have to do with the fact that I have other things in the works that will help make me money, while another part of it may be that I enjoy my privacy, and would much rather work behind the scenes writing songs for other artists and producing beats.  Heck, I’ve made 2 albums where the beats were mostly made by me, so I know I have the talent for it, and I’m in the right state to make connections so I can get them heard and sold, so why not?

Bottom line: I don’t need the troubles that “fame” can bring.  If I were to become famous, I’d prefer it to be on a lower level where I could still walk outside and not get mobbed.  Besides, I’m really just looking to make a HUGE amount of cash so I can travel anyway – I don’t need to be on stage to make that happen, especially if I’m making enough money behind the scenes to afford it!

That’s all for now.  I have a video to go make – see y’all tomorrow!