I can see why Jay-Z sub-named his second Blueprint album, “The Gift and the Curse.”

Now that I’ve gotten some exposure, I’m starting to feel just a liiiiiiiiittle bit of pressure in terms of coming up with these videos.  Part of the problem is that I’m still trying to create whatever image I want to project to the world, but since I listen to a LOT of different types of music, I have different types of songs I like to create that don’t always fit into one particular formula.

This was all well and good before I had a large audience of people because I could do whatever I want, and nobody would really care.  I can still do that now; however, there is also the part of me that says maybe, just maybe, I should choose which lane I want to do this whole music thing in and try to stay in it.

For example: am I going to be a rapper who talks mostly about social issues?  Am I going to be the funny guy who always does parody songs?  Am I going to be the guy that creates mostly party jams?  I feel like people now expect me to fit into a certain category, but like I said, my influences are quite diverse.

I also ponder if people expect me to conform to a certain style of music.  I spent the majority of my schooling years going to schools where the majority of my peers were white; therefore, I have a heavy influence of pop, rock, and electronica music, as well as the silly stuff like Weird Al and cartoons like “The Simpsons” or “Animaniacs.”  I also attended Hampton University, which is a historically black college; therefore, influences of go-go, rap, R&B, gospel, and house music have also affected the music I come up with.

Then, of course, there’s the side of me that doesn’t always want to take this music thing so seriously.  Sometimes, I like to hear songs that don’t make me think so darn much – I’m as much of a fan of Nas’s “Hero” song as I am of Soulja Boy’s “Crank Dat” or Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back.”  At the same time, though, I ponder if there’d be an audience backlash from going to doing songs like “The N!@@er Song” and “Smile 4 Dad,” to something much stupider and seemingly nowhere near as subject-matter oriented. 

What’s funny to me is, all the songs in my catalogue (some released, some not) are songs I have no problem listening to over and over again.  But it’s different when you have an audience – they hear a couple of songs slanting towards a particular direction and become fans, then turn their backs when that next song isn’t in the same vein. 

Wow – who’d a thought I’d have so much to say about this one subject?!?  I’ll have to make it into a song…

Anyway… so I say ALL OF THAT to say, for this week’s video, I have a couple of songs in mind.  One is a song in the vein of something Soulja Boy would do, while the other is one someone like Twista or Bone would do.  I like both songs, but again, I have no idea how they’ll be viewed, especially once I make a video for them.  Both songs will be made and turned into videos (shown on different weeks), but now that I’ve got people tuned in, I’m always thinking about which songs and videos are going to help me get to that next step, or take me down a notch…

Then again – screw it!  Until I start making money from all this stuff, I think I’m entitled to make whatever the heck I want!  Besides, this whole thing is an experiment anyway, so it’s probably best to be as experimental in the beginning and figure out what does and/or doesn’t work before I’m 25 songs in!

Man – who knew all these decisions would be so confusing to make?!?

-A.P.T.

E-mail: aptsongs@hotmail.com

Advertisements